To A Total Stranger

Once in a while I have to rant. Even at a place called GraceReign I need a voice.

So here it goes:

An open letter to the "friend" who passed us on the road today.

How interesting that you found it appropriate to allow your children to make faces at us, put thumbs down, and generally "boo" us with smug little expressions. I wish you could have seen the glee they felt at being encouraged to let someone else know how much they disapproved of them.

I'm assuming you were Christians, maybe even from my church. I assume this because of the route and timing of your drive (mirroring my own), the scrubbed for church look, and the fact that you didn't flip us off or yell obscenities.

I'm glad you're training your children to recognize right from wrong. It was obvious you were giving them quite the object lesson by pointing out our "poor" behavior and making a huge issue of it.

I hope you are also being careful to train them to be thinking children who know why they make the decisions they do. I hope you're teaching them not to jump to conclusions without knowing the whole story and to take time to understand the other person's perspectives. I hope you are also not giving them "good morals" while allowing them to grow in "pride" and arrogance with a total "disdain for the feelings of others." (to quote good ole Jane Austen).

I felt very misunderstood by you today, and frankly if your children had cursed and flipped me off at least I could blow off their behavior a little easier--I mean maybe they just had no one at home teaching them right from wrong.

Since we will probably never meet face-to-face, I would like to explain myself.

I grew up a country girl. I was taught that biodegradable things like banana peels and apple cores were good for the environment, made the soil richer, and provided healthy snacks for God's creatures.

I also now live in the city. I would never throw a banana peel on the sidewalk or your front yard. In these situations the organic, healthy properties of these biodegradable products became trash because of the manicured and cultured care of your lawn. I would, however, enjoy placing such items in your garden or your compost pile where they could be of use.

You caught us in the act of serving our environment. We were driving past an undeveloped field. I taught my children, as I was taught and still believe, that in these settings things like banana peels and apples are good, not bad, for the soil. My teenagers were acting in a thoughtful choice, not being irresponsible, not littering the environment. If they had thrown out paper or true trash, I would have been all over it. But they wouldn't do that because they, like me, care about the beautiful world God created and want to take care of it.

I know it is hard for you to see this while moving at 45 mph. You assumed we were littering and took it upon yourself to show us your great disapproval of our behavior.

From my perspective we weren't littering. Not that you cared about my perspective.

But what if we were carelessly hurting our environment? Do you think your behavior would have changed us for the better, made any difference? And do you think having such an attitude toward perfect strangers is teaching your children how to relate to people different than you in a Christ-like manner?

If you and I met in a different circumstance we'd probably like each other--at least at first. You are obviously an engaged, caring mom, something I respect greatly.

But I would appreciate it if you would slow down, think through the big picture, and consider how your actions affected perfect strangers and, more importantly, the hearts of your children.