Ragamuffin Diva Comes to GraceReign

Claudia Mair,

After being friends for so long—since we both started blogging actually, about the same time in 2004—it is a huge honor to host you here at GraceReign. I’m so excited about your new book, Murder, Mayhem, and a Fine Man, and thrilled to get to interview you here.

It’s my pleasure, Paula. We met right before you started GraceReign. I read your first entry! I’ve been a fan ever since.

Your encouragement has meant much to me, Mair. I still remember how excited I was when you left that first comment—a rare thing in those days. I was thrilled to have a comment, but I was also thrilled because it came from YOU.

Speaking of blogging, I love the story about how you ended up with a book contract. It’s the dream of every writer to be “discovered” as you were. It also reminds us that God can do anything He wants when He’s ready to move. Can you share with readers how you first connected with a publisher and a bit of the saga leading to your first book contract?

I was a big ol’ mess at the time—very disenfranchised from church and much of life. I really loved writing, but I wanted to write for Jesus. I didn’t feel worthy though. I always say that it seemed like the Christian women writers were all perfect: homeschooling moms, with husbands who are pastors of a little white church on a hill, and even if they weren’t they all seemed different from me. I had chronic, disabling depression, three suicide attempts, a husband who struggled with drug and alcohol addictions, and right before I started my blog, I was involved in a heated emotional affair with a man who I’ll just say was “my first” because he was a first of several experiences. I certainly couldn’t write for God.

But my heart wanted it so. My disabled husband Ken had to have another surgery, and we had so little money and support that we had to go to the hospital on the bus. We returned home on the bus. It was awful. But at the hospital, I saw a copy of Today’s Christian Woman, and I devoured that magazine. It filled me with such longing that I actually stole it from the waiting room. I took it home, clutched it to my heart, and begged Jesus to let me write for Him. I promised Him I would tell struggling Pilgrims like myself that He loves them. We don’t have to “clean up” to get His grace. But I still didn’t think I’d write for the Christian market. Not long after I started my blog ragamuffin diva. A friend—an amazing novelist who’s own personal blog really guided me in choosing a style for my own—had dinner with her publisher and told him he needs to look at my blog and contact me. Amazingly, he did, and wrote me cold, asking if I’d like to write a book for his house.

It didn’t work out. He quit a few days after I finished the book, but he ended up becoming a literary agent, taking me on as one of his first clients, and selling Murder, Mayhem, and a Fine Man within months. God is awesome. Truly.

Would you give GraceReign readers an idea of what Murder, Mayhem, and a Fine Man is about?

It’s about a woman who had really walled herself off from the abundant life Jesus has for her, and how a red dress, a fine man, and a mysterious murder impact her life and force her to changes she didn’t know she was ready for. Changes like letting love in and letting go of the past. It’s funny, funky, and has CSI stuff. It’s the book I wished I could have read.

Did you characters come from any particular inspiration or experience?

People in my life inspired them. They are very much like my own friends and family, from Carly, who reminds me of my own sister, Carlean, to the fine man in my life.

You once told me that there is something “so magical and perfect” about writing a story. You said your life would be impoverished without fiction. You said you first longed to write fiction when you were eleven and found a piece of paper on the floor. Can you tell that story?

I wanted to write first at age eleven. I was walking down the hall at school. There was a slip of paper on the floor and I was compelled to pick it up. It must have been a God thing. Of course I didn’t think it was then. It had dialogue on it from a play and I thought, wow. I could write this. So I wrote a play, and my teacher Mr. Wilson let me perform it, which was amazing. I wasn’t very assertive. Performing anything at school was a stretch. Later, when I dropped out of high school, it was Mr. Wilson that persuaded me to go back. He even offered me a scholarship. He remembered those plays!

After you accepted Jesus you felt fiction wasn’t spiritual enough and backed away from writing your stories. Why was that? What happened that allowed you to write fiction again?

No one in my life honored fiction. I didn’t grow up in a book lover’s house. We had a few books. My mother loved Poe, and old poetry, but there wasn’t much to choose from. Unfortunately, there were some pornographic novels in my house, and as a curious child I read them. I was eight, and a precocious reader. I can’t tell you the damage those books did to my soul. I’m still casting off the muck, so there was a bit of guilt about reading anything not “Scripture” in my early Christian life. Even non-fiction was not encouraged. I read the spiritual classics pretty much on my own.

I needed stories, though. I met my friend Keysha, and “fiction” came back into my life because I told her stories.

Tell us about your friend Keysha and how you spent your time together as young teens. Why was that such an important experience in your life?

Keysha was an amazing girl—an artist herself. She was always drawing, or doodling, or writing. She was a few years younger, but we were fast friends. One day, I just started telling her a story starring she and I. We’d spend hours in those story worlds. I think those stories protected us from the very harsh ghetto life that surrounded us. Stories gave us hope and courage, and helped us to realize we could find love. True love. We ended up finding that true love together when we responded to the same altar call.

When I think of it, I’m still telling stories starring my friends and me! How fun is that?

You told me that you wanted to write books for broken people—people with messy lives who aren’t sure how to hold it all together, but who hold onto Jesus. Can you elaborate on that?

So many of us are wearing these masks of competence, and we are shattered in a billion pieces inside. But we’re afraid to let anybody know we’re a pile of shards. I wanted my characters to have real-world struggles. I wanted them to think bad thoughts, unforgiveness, and want to have sex if they aren’t married, and to struggle with those issues because God knows I struggled with them. But even in my messiness I found grace. Jesus helped me with the sin I struggled with. Sometimes, I actually got victory. I wanted to write a book sinners could relate to, and say, hey, maybe I can get some grace, too.

Murder is a unique book. It’s mystery, romance, and women’s fiction all rolled into one. I loved how it started off sassy and light and ended up going deep. What were you trying to accomplish with this book? Can you share part of the process of starting with a light, “chickie” feel and ending up probing some dark places? Did you mean to go so deep at the end?

It’s just how I live, Paula. I am a very dark person, who can be very funny. Bell has a sharp wit that protects her soft center, but she’s experienced bad things, and is changed by those bad things. That’s how I am. I wanted to translate that to the page. Nothing I write is “light”, but yes, it can be very funny and often absurd.

I didn’t mean to go so deep in the end, but Bell’s story, so much like my own, forced me to. She had to confront her own darkness as well as “the bad guys” which people don’t expect. But isn’t that life. Aren’t we always forced to confront our darkness? We are always being pruned so we can blossom on the vine.

I know most novels have bits of the author’s life hidden within them. Is this true with Murder? Are you willing to share a little of your real life story that prepared you to write this book?

I lived with a man who was very much like a cult leader; only he couldn’t find any other disciples besides me at the time. He was incredibly cruel and hurt me immeasurably, in every way you can hurt a person: physically, emotionally, spiritually, sexually. I remember when the Waco, TX tragedy happened with David Koresh. We’d been following the stories in the Washington Post, and this man actually said to me, “That guy is just like me.” And he was, Paula! He even recognized it in himself. It was pure grace that I got away from him without being in a body bag.

You call yourself the Ragamuffin Diva, an “unsteady disciple whose life can be messy” yet who is “made in the image and likeness of God and embracing grace.” How has your concept of God changed from when you were a young girl and afraid to write fiction?

I think if you live long enough, and stay open, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to amend your position. I know God to be far more loving than before. His love pretty much blows out my mind. There are God facts that are just incredible. We really are, all of us, made in the image and likeness of God. We are living icons. In the Orthodox Church, we kiss icons. But every time I kiss another human being I’m kissing an icon. Embracing grace is allowing God to devastate our fear of Him just by allowing Him to love us—and we do fear God. That’s probably the number one reason we avoid Him. There isn’t much I’m afraid of—well, I am afraid of things, but I’d take those things to God now without hesitation.

When I first met you, I called you Claudia. You write under the name Claudia Mair Burney, but now you prefer to be called Mair (which rhymes with fire). Can you tell GR readers why that name is so special to you?

When I was Chrismated into the Holy Orthodox Church, I took on the name of my patron saint, St. Mary of Egypt. She meant so much to me. Her story just inspires me. She repented in the desert for 47 years. I felt like I needed strength like hers for my journey. Only, I'm so not a Mary. I looked for variations of Mary. I considered Mariam, Maria, and several others, but when I saw Mair it just stole my heart. Mary of Egypt didn't mind at all that I went with the Welsh version of her name. Every time I'm called Mair, it recalls my spiritual patron, and is a blessing to me.

You and I have had some interesting discussions about race. You once told me that you didn’t think you would ever publish in the CBA. Why was that?

Take a look around CBA. There aren’t too many people of color. A handful of black women. Most black writers are publishing Christian Fiction in the ABA, with much success. CBA is more segregated than Sunday morning, which has been said to be the most segregated hours in America. White folks go their way, black folks go our way, and not to often do we meet.

You are published in the CBA, despite what you thought would be hurdles. Why do you think you are there and how do you feel about that?

I know I’m here because it’s where God put me. I didn’t think I’d get into CBA and it didn’t occur to me to try. I wrote Murder because a CBA publisher asked me to. That was the only reason. I had my eye on an African American ABA publisher because I thought that was where I belonged.

I love that God was a trickster. He actually closed the door with the other publisher and nobody else wanted me but CBA. It was weird. I’m glad though. I confronted a lot of my racist and separatist tendencies. It was painful, but needful. I’m a better person because it forced me to grow. It forced me to move away from the “colored drinking fountain” to the “white’s only” drinking fountain. But the water is the same, Paula.

In our previous discussion you mentioned to me that like it or not, as Americans we have a history to overcome in the area of racial relationships. What do you think keeps us all from moving out of the past and into the future in this area?

It’s not easy! Who wants to think they have any racist tendencies? Who wants to go through the discomfort of wading through the murky waters of race matters in America? We still don’t know what to say to, or about each other. We still worry that we will offend each other, and we still do offend each other. We inherited all these rules and we don’t understand them all. For example, a white friend wrote and asked if she could use the word “nappy” to describe a black woman’s hair. I happen to know that there are these poles. Nappy is very good to some, and very bad to others. It’s also a word that black people can use, but if you are white and use it, well, that’s against the “rules”. So, yeah, we avoid all that stuff because it’s easier. It’s safer. Dealing with race is a messy affair. But we really need to. This is not what Jesus had in mind. He was notorious for surprising people and breaking the race and ethnicity rules of His day.

You once described yourself to me as “evangelical with a spiritual element added that is not protestant.” What do you mean by that?

I said that, but it’s not really accurate. I’m by conversion Eastern Orthodox, but I’m a new convert, and still have as much of an “Evangelical” mindset as ever. But at the same time, I’m not the same. I’ve added the celebration of the Eucharist, the Divine Liturgy, and the rich traditions of the Eastern Church to my life. It’s so much deeper now, and I’ve only picked up a few grains of sand on the big shores of Tradition (with a capitol T) before me. I haven’t even begun to go into the ocean yet.

I know you’re concerned about the separation between evangelicals and those from a more liturgy driven background. Can you talk about that a little?

Jesus Christ only had one Church. His. The Church split in 1057 or so, and we’ve been splitting ever since. We cut ourselves off from our history, and that’s always dangerous. We’ve protested ourselves away from each other. God can’t be pleased. I’m all about the unity of the faith. I don’t know how we’ll do it, but I pray the Holy Spirit will help us.

Mair, one of my most precious life memories will be the evening we hung out together at your hotel room before ICRS. Before we shut down for the night, you told me you were going to be a “good orthodox” and do your evening prayers. Your sweet voice prayed the liturgy, sang specific prayers, and then poured your heart out before God in prayer for the week, your family, and me. I felt the presence of the Lord as you prayed and fell immediately to sleep in the peace of God’s care. Why do you think those prayers are so impacting?

Few things have affected me more deeply than fixed hour prayers, and I’m horrible at it, but I’m trying. Those ancient prayers root me in the faith. I am praying the exact same prayers millions of other Christians are praying. I’m praying prayers that countless of saints who are with Jesus now prayed. It connects me to a communion of saints past and present. So, when I pray, “O Heavenly King, Comforter, Spirit of Truth who are everywhere and fill all things, treasury of good things, and giver of life, come and abide in us, and cleanse us from all impurities, and save our souls O Good One,” The Holy Spirit descends on the whole of us, in and outside of time. Wow! Those prayers have been around this long for a reason!

And I love to sing and chant prayers. They seem to reach my heart faster that way. Augustine said, “He who sings prays twice.” I love that. I think he’s right.

Is there anything else you’d like to share with GraceReign readers?

Just that there isn’t any place where God cannot find and rescue you. There is always grace. And it truly is amazing.

Readers can find Murder, Mayhem, and a Fine Man through their local bookstore or on Amazon. where you have some great words from reviewers. The second book in the Amanda Bell Brown mysteries comes out in December. It’s called Death, Deceit, and Some Smooth Jazz.

Of course readers can visit you at your blog, the Ragamuffin Diva.

Note: Claudia’s story was also featured in Soul Scents on July 23^rd. You can read it by visiting the Soul Scents archives. It is in the series called Little Boxes III.