Motherhood

This morning my eight-year-old kissed both of my cheeks, my forehead, and then kissed his pointer finger, grinned, and touched my nose, transferring his kiss. I'm so grateful to experience motherhood and capture these precious moments. The deepest joy and fulfillment I have experienced all relates to relationships--with God, my husband, and my children. I'm glad I've chosen motherhood as my primary focus for this season.

As a child, I dreamed a lot. I wanted to write. I wanted to teach. Mostly, I wanted to be a mom. I knew even at that young age that I would sacrifice a lot to be home with my children. And I have. I've given up material goods friends of mine take for granted. What would it be like to pop into Starbucks anytime I wanted without a twinge of guilt or concern for the cost of a cup of fancy coffee? I don't know, yet. Maybe someday I will.

I've delayed dreams and folded laundry when I wanted to be doing things much more glorious. I've taught ABC's when I wanted to discuss philosophy or theology. I wouldn't have it any other way.

When I chose to be an at-home mom, I did it full steam ahead. I didn't even give myself a reprive from round the clock mothering by sending the kids to school. Somehow, homeschooling was the only option of my heart. My neighbor tells me I'm crazy. She asks why I always choose to do things the hard way. She thinks having four children instead of a couple was a choice for the hard way. Then staying at home with them and doing without materially was the hard way. Now, continuing to homeschool borders on insane, when they could get an education for free with much less effort on my part.

But for some crazy reason I believe these choices are important--these things I do to focus on my children. Somehow I think America is a better place when her children are nurtured, given training, compassion, work ethic, morality, and value. And I believe giving them Jesus is paramount.

Not everyone agrees with me. Take Linda Hirshman who got two days of attention on ABC's Good Morning America. She says that educated women like me are letting our country down by doing menial tasks like changing diapers when you could hire out that kind of work.

According to this article, Hirshman thinks that women who choose mothering over career "undermine the status of all women and threaten the emergence of an egalitarian civilization." She's horrified because the latest trend in America includes an increasing number of women choosing to be at home instead of pursuing career goals while their children are little. She can't believe that woman who are at home can be fulfilled and claims that she has yet to read a description of the daily life of an at-home mom that would prove it a calling that is fulfilling for an interesting, educated person.

Thank goodness there are other voices. I really appreciated Barabara Rainey's article which said that in a recent survey 79% of teenage girls said the person they most admired was their mother.

Barbara ends her article with this quote: "When a mom chooses to stay home with her children, it is viewed by many as a 'career-limiting move.' Why can't this choice of sacrificial love be seen for what it really is: An investment in our nation's most valuable resource-our children."

Did you hear the thunderous applause I heard when you read that statement?

All this talk about choosing motherhood reminds me of my dear friend Gina. She's a gifted writer and has been pursuing a career as an author. I've been following her blog, Portrait of a Writer . . . Interrupted with great interest. She believes God has called her to set aside publication dreams for a season so she can focus more fully on her children. She recently began homeschooling because she felt God led her to pull her children from the private school they were attending so she could give them more time.

Her sacrifices have not been easy, but she gets it. She understands that, to quote an old song, "the children are our future." More than that, she knows that she must follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit as she discovers His path for her life. If you've struggled with setting aside, or limiting, something you love during this season of motherhood, I'd encourage you to read her blog. Go back to her entry of March 3 and experience her journey. I think you'll be inspired.

You know, this post isn't about joining the mommy wars. I really try to avoid that. I believe those of us who are Christians need to trust God to lead his mothers in their choices to work or be at home and to public, private, or homeschool their children. Sometimes He has purposes beyond what we can see and we need to pray for each other, that we can all follow Him in this most important calling of motherhood.

But, I needed to write this blog. I wanted to join my voice with the myriad of voices that decry attitudes like Hirshman's. I wanted to stand up and speak out validation for the moms all across this country who are willing to look beyond their personal desires to focus on the mission of motherhood. Moms like you and me need to be reminded that the work we are doing is eternally significant.